Wednesday, February 27, 2013

A-CONCH-ALYPSE: Fantasy Fest 2012

 
Fantasy Fest 2012... what can I say? It was like a fun-house mirror dream, which I couldn't wake up from. Not all my experiences on the road have been cake walks, this one in particular was pretty insane. All I can say, is thank God for friends. Friends and Rum Runners. For those of you who don't know what Fantasy Fest is, it is an out and out Bacchanal, the largest Naked party in the country, possibly in the world. It is a festival with brilliant costumes, according to the theme of the year, in liberal Key West. Now, if you haven't been to Key West, it's full of retired entrepreneurs, people looking to create a new identity, and people running from their past lives. It is one of the most friendly, and accepting places on Earth, and when I say that, I mean, at Fantasy Fest, the guy who is butt ass nekkid, standing next to the woman who is wearing a dress made of astro-turf, who is talking to a group of affluent metro-sexual swingers, and the group of seniors, male and female all in one piece bathing suits with flower swim caps... ALL OF THEM, are welcome to behave however they would like, and do whatever drugs they like openly, and have Margaritas and beer for breakfast, all over the island during Fantasy Fest. People come to celebrate, world wide, to... well... play out their fantasies! And on every corner, there is a body painter. And every airbrush T-shirt shop guy comes out of the woodwork, claiming to be a body painter. I respect my patrons, so I make sure that what I use on their skin, is hypoallergenic, and suitable for skin. It is makeup, NOT PAINT. I go to Fantasy Fest, to be the best painter I can be, do the best work I can with every job. I take it seriously. My patrons want to have their body paint fantasies fulfilled at a premium, so it is the least I can do, to make sure that they have a good experience! 
 
These above shots,are of my promotional model, Crystal. Her job was to be painted and pull people in from off the streets, to be painted, or to stand in my big window, and look cute. She did her job very well. During the event, I was supposed to stay on site, where I would be body painting. It was written into the Entertainment Agreement, that I would stay in the apartment above the work space. When I got there, the "apartment" was a construction zone, with sawdust, and workers, and a lot of noise. It was unlivable. So, I met this bartender, and he was kind enough to allow me to sleep on his boat. 
  Although it was a very nice gesture, I felt more comfortable staying somewhere else the following days. I just really needed to be rested and feel well in order to do this job. All the hotels were booked, so, I bought an air mattress, to sleep on, DOWNSTAIRS, at the venue, which was mostly swept of the sawdust. My other body painting girlfriend stayed there with me, so that I wouldn't feel freaked out. At 8 in the morning, workers came in and gave us a rude wakeup. "This is the best work site we ever been on!!! Body painting, AND girls in bed as soon as we get to the job!!!" Emma and I quickly gathered our things in a stupor, and piled into my Honda Element. We drove to the CVS across the island to wash up and brush our teeth and get dressed in their bathroom. It was there that we tried to put a positive spin on everything, and we invented the game, "Reasons Why We're Not Homeless."
 
The following nights, a girlfriend of mine snuck me into her plush hotel room, and we even got a beautiful complimentary breakfast each morning. I was SO grateful for this, and it worked out perfectly. There were a few other business complications, but it would be hardly entertaining for my readers, and I don't feel like re-living the fiasco. Let's just say, that the next Fantasy Fest I do will be hosted by corporate, instead of mom and pop! Lesson learned! Here's some more body paint!
 


I told you about the one pieces...

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